Confidence is this funny little thing, isn't it? Sometimes, the people you expect to have the most of it, are terribly insecure. And sometimes, the people you don't expect to, exude it. You know what that means, right? Confidence is available to everybody. Even you. Right now.
Confidence is a muscle. And like any other muscle in your body, you need to WERK IT in order for it to change, and ultimately grow. You can't just show up at the gym one time, and expect those biceps to be bulging, knowwhatImean? We don't expect that something like "confidence" or "mindset" requires work, but it does. Just as much, if not more than, changing other aspects of your life. So, 1. Acknowledge that you must spend time "working on" your confidence muscle, in order to see the change you want to see. Or, rather feel it. You can't really "see" confidence. There are a number of things you can do to work on building your confidence. 🌈Pick a skill and work on mastering it. I don’t really care what it is; for me, I love dancing (despite being very good at it, honestly) but regardless, I love finding a new and seemingly challenging dance routine on YouTube and trying to pick it up. There is no better feeling than try, trying again until I f*cking NAIL it. 🌈Move your body. I know that last one mentioned dance, but I mean move your body intentionally - yoga, stretching, running or walking, lifting weights, or doing cartwheels down the road, again - I don’t care how you do it. This isn’t about weight loss or any end-goal with the movement. It’s just important for your body and mind as you probably know, releases hormones like endorphins that make you FEEL GOOD. Let go of the need to move your body for an external outcome. Move it because it’s important (and because yes, it’ll improve your confidence.) There's no getting around the importance of movement. 🌈Write out a list of things that are awesome about you. Cliche maybe, but this shit WORKS. I can guarantee there are at least 10 incredible things about you RIGHT NOW. Maybe they’re physical, maybe they’re emotional, maybe they’re mental, maybe they’re ability-centered. Either way, quit being so hard on yourself and be your own cheerleader. YOU GO, GLEN COCO. 2. Confidence is WAY more about what’s going on inside your HEAD, than what’s going on on the outside. You don’t need to have any specific aesthetic features in order to fit the “confidence” mold. You don’t have to be all the things we think we’re supposed to be in order to fall into the confident category: skinny, pretty, beautiful, symmetrical, fit, thin, slim, tall, have long hair and perfect eyelashes, big lips and boobs but a small waist, straight teeth and no cellulite. NERRRR. None of those things are prerequisites to confidence. Again, you need to focus on all the good shit about you, instead of focusing on what you want to change. Things you can say to yourself to help tune the dial of your mindset to a more confident station: ⚡️I am a f*cking brilliant and valuable human being ⚡️I am the only version of me and there's nobody else quite like I am ⚡️I have so many amazing qualities that have nothing to do with my body or appearance ⚡️I am an amazing mom/friend/spouse/partner/daughter/sister/colleague/boss and I don't need to prove that to anyone ⚡️I let go of worrying about what other people "might think" of me. F*ck them anyway. ⚡️I owe nobody an explanation for who I am.
3. There are no stipulations to confidence. (Because I can already hear you qualifying with your "yeah, but..." bullshit.) If you want to walk into the party with confidence, DO IT. If you feel like dancing, DO IT. If you want to raise your hand and speak up, DO IT!!! Nobody else gets to decide how confident you are. Show up, speak up, say what you think, and if somebody doesn't like it, WHO CARES. Wear what you want. Rock your bod, no matter what size it is. Own it. Be nice to people. Act sure of yourself. Speak up and share your opinion. Quit caring if someone thinks you're "full of yourself." I hope you ARE full of yourself. The alternative sucks ass. If you want more real talk about confidence, you better snag my book from Amazon ASAP, and while you're waiting on that #prime delivery, you can check out Episode 75 and Episode 58 of The Momfidence Podcast. LOVE YA LOTS! XO Courtney